The Marriage and Family Blog


5 Ways to Stop Complaining

category: christian living Jan 22, 2024

Okay, let’s be honest here. How many of us have made complaining a habit? It flows from our mouths without really giving it much thought. Complaining has become a default mode for some - seeing the negative and voicing our opinion about it.

We complain about pains in our bodies, the weather, spouses, kids…everything, and anything that causes us the least bit of discomfort. We feel it is our duty to voice our dissatisfaction with anything and everything we don’t agree with. Yes, I’m talking to myself here as well!

One of the major things that will set you apart from others is not complaining. the Bible even says in Philippians 2:14, “Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may be innocent and pure as God’s perfect children, who live in a world of corrupt and sinful people. You must shine among them like stars lightning up the sky.” It literally says that you will shine when you don’t complain.

How do you separate yourself from the world? Don’t sound like them! For some reason we think that what we learned in Kindergarten, (if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all), doesn’t apply to us adults. Think about how quiet everyone would be if we didn’t complain! (insert the sound of crickets here)

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.”

James 5:9 says, “Do not grumble against one another, brethren, lest you be condemned. Behold the Judge is standing at the door!”

The Bible is full of the importance of what we speak and how we speak. I don’t know about you, but it is high time I get serious about what comes out of my mouth. So how can we change the negative talking habit? We have to renew our minds to the Word of God and get a gratitude habit. Here are a few tips:

  1. Spend time with God! I know, I always include this in my tips or lists because it is ALWAYS the number one answer to EVERYTHING! If you are not spending time putting good things into your heart, then good things can’t come out. Plain and simple!
  2. Keep a gratitude journal. I know it sounds cliche, but voicing what you are thankful and grateful for will give you a new perspective - a new way of looking at things. In addition, you may need to keep a complaint journal. When something or someone bothers you, write it down instead of voicing it to others if you feel you need to get it off your chest.
  3. Practice the pause. Before saying anything, pause. You will be better able to stop yourself from speaking negativity if you simply pause before speaking and think about what you are about to say.
  4. During the pause, ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say going to edify anyone? Meaning, will it build someone up or is it going to tear them down?
  5. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Sometimes how we speak has become such a habit that we don’t realize we are doing it. The Holy Spirit is your helper. Ask Him to help you guard your mouth and be a shine instead of whine.

So, I challenge you to quit the complaining habit. Who’s in? Comment below, and we can pray for each other in this endeavor. If this blog helped you, let me know, and feel free to share it!


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